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News...

Space Duck over the Moon despite legal challenge
Crowthorne, 23 August 2009
By A. Reporter

There was high drama in Crowthorne last night at the “Return from the East” Garden Party as Ryszard Gorell’s new Travelling Companion was announced after a tight and ultimately controversial audience vote.

The Travel Companion role became available earlier this year when after 15 years, Ro Gorell stormed out saying only, “This is Gross”. The role includes free worldwide travel, a dedicated Facebook profile and co-hosting of a six episode Video Travelogue with Ryszard Gorell. “I am really excited at the prospect” said Ryszard, “My only hope is that there will be less lip with this one than the previous one!”

There was huge interest in the role following the placement of a full page advertisement in the Bracknell Community Times. Editor Mike Oak said that circulation had gone “Through the roof” as over 10,000 applicants applied.

Eventually, the candidates were whittled down to a shortlist of four who were put through their paces at the star-studded event. “It’s tough up there” said Chris Wood a long-lister who attended the event with his stunning companion Sophia. Chris who was philosophical about not making the shortlist, showed real star-presence as he and Sophia almost stole the show with their sparkling costumes. But ultimately they were out-shone by a truly breathtaking display of the Diablo by Ryszard. Does yet another career beckon?

The candidates were introduced to the hand-picked and “excitable” audience. First up was Spaceduck who looked both cool and flamboyant in a designer “Betelgeuse Orange” spacesuit especially designed for the event by Versace. Next was “Magnetic Hooves” Daisy who was in a safe but stylish black and white number. “Happy Bear” stuck to his tried and trusted bow-tie, while Monkey Wrench showed a steely reserve.

The audience was at fever pitch as the results of the voting came in. Monkey wrench and Happy bear were eliminated first. “I’m not too upset” commented Monkey Wrench through gritted teeth before heading to the bar. Next to go was “Happy Bear” whose normally cheerful expression visibly dropped on hearing the news.

But the real controversy started when it became clear that “Magnetic Hooves” Daisy and Spaceduck were tied on votes. The voting then descended into a “Strictly Come Dancing” style fiasco. In the end Ryszard drew a close to the proceedings by delivering a ‘casting’ vote for Space Duck. Daisy’s supporters were furious. “I felt so sorry for Daisy” said Katy (surname withheld), “I have her posters and everything on my bedroom walls. She’s worked bloody hard to make it this far and she’s just been palmed off. It’s so unfair”.

Later, at the milk-bar, Daisy vented her disgust “People think it’s easy for a cow today. Ever since Dora Daisy opened the way for us as travelling companions there has been this view in some circles that we bovines can just walk into any job. It’s not true. There is still a lot of prejudice out there and we saw that tonight. I’m going to moo... I mean sue!”

Although Daisy did get some support from a clearly unhappy Happy Bear, Monkey Wrench was less than sympathetic commenting that Daisy should “Get a grip!”

At the post event press conference Ryszard was unrepentant. “It’s my companion and I should have the casting vote.”

When asked about Daisy’s intention to sue, Spaceduck’s only comment was that he thought she was “Quackers!”

I have to say I was well pleased to become a Travelling Companion. It's very important to me, and I hope I can become a role model to ducklings everywhere. Until the next time, Safe Journey!